Handling Grief During the Holidays
The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration—but when you’re carrying grief, the season can feel anything but joyful. The absence of a loved one, changes to family dynamics, or the weight of past losses can make what is “supposed” to be a festive time feel isolating, emotional, and exhausting.
At Maple Key Counseling and Psychotherapy, we want to remind you that there is no right way to grieve through the holidays. How you feel—whatever that looks like for you—is valid. Grief does not follow a schedule, and it certainly doesn’t take a holiday break. Below are some gentle ways to care for yourself as you navigate this challenging season.
Take Time for Yourself
Grief can be emotionally and physically draining, especially when layered with the expectations and busyness of the holidays. Making space for yourself is not selfish—it is necessary.
Be gentle with yourself. Your energy, focus, and emotional bandwidth may be different this year, and that’s okay. Allow slower days, quiet moments, and rest when you need it.
Have patience with yourself. Your feelings may shift rapidly—sadness, longing, numbness, even brief moments of joy. None of these mean you are “doing grief wrong.” Give yourself permission to experience whatever comes up without judgment.
Surround Yourself With Supportive People
You don’t have to go through the holidays alone. Being around people who feel safe, understanding, and compassionate can help ease the weight of grief.
Choose to spend time with those who:
Listen without trying to fix you
Validate your feelings
Respect your boundaries
Offer comfort simply through presence
If your social circle is small or scattered, support can also come from counseling, grief groups, or even trusted virtual connections.
Minimize Contact With Tricky People
The holidays can place us in close contact with people who may unintentionally dismiss, minimize, or misunderstand grief. Statements like “Aren’t you over that yet?” or pressure to “be cheerful” can sting deeply.
It’s okay to:
Say no to certain gatherings
Shorten visits
Communicate your needs clearly
Protect your emotional energy
Setting boundaries is not avoiding grief—it’s choosing to support your mental health during a vulnerable time.
Limit Social Media Use
Social media often highlights picture-perfect gatherings, smiling families, and festive milestones. When you’re grieving, this constant stream can spark painful emotions such as comparison, resentment, or feeling left behind.
Consider intentionally reducing your social media time:
Take breaks or mute holiday-heavy content
Follow pages that promote authenticity or healing
Refocus on experiences that feel grounding rather than triggering
You’re allowed to curate digital spaces that support your well-being.
Create New Traditions
Holidays after loss may feel unfamiliar. Creating new traditions can help mark the season in ways that honour both your grief and your present reality.
Ideas include:
A quiet walk or reflective ritual each year
Volunteering or giving back in your loved one’s memory
Lighting a candle, journaling, or sharing stories
Choosing comforting activities like baking or watching meaningful movies or shows
New traditions don’t replace what was lost—but they can gently shape how you move forward.
Modify Old Traditions
Some traditions may still feel comforting, but need adjustment to better fit where you are now.
You might:
Simplify celebrations
Change locations or group sizes
Shorten events
Adapt rituals to feel less overwhelming
You’re not obligated to keep traditions exactly as they’ve always been. It’s okay to reshape them into something that feels more manageable.
Skip Traditions If You Need To
There may be traditions that feel too painful to engage in right now—and that’s okay. Skipping a gathering, ceremony, or activity doesn’t mean abandoning the holidays or your loved ones’ memories. It simply means listening to what your heart can truly handle this year.
Grief is not measured by participation. You do not need to “power through” experiences that exacerbate pain.
Look for What Continues
Loss changes things, but it doesn’t erase everything that still brings meaning to your life. Even amidst grief, there are pieces of connection, love, and purpose that remain.
You might gently explore:
Which relationships continue to nourish you
What activities still bring moments of calm or comfort
How love for the person you lost continues to guide you
Sometimes healing doesn’t come from letting go, but from learning how to carry love forward alongside the loss.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Grieving during the holidays can be isolating, but support is available. At Maple Key Counseling and Psychotherapy, our therapists provide compassionate support for individuals, couples and families navigating grief and loss. We offer a safe space to honour what you’re carrying and find ways to move through the season at your own pace.
If you’re struggling and would like support, we invite you to reach out to book an appointment with one of our therapists. You deserve care, patience, and understanding—especially during this difficult time.
Wishing you gentleness and peace as you navigate the holidays.