Managing Family Conflict Over the Holidays
The holidays can be a really tough time—even without everything going on in the world right now. Many people head into this season already feeling stretched thin, and adding family conflict into the mix can make things feel overwhelming fast.
If you notice yourself feeling anxious, tense, or drained just thinking about upcoming gatherings, that’s completely understandable. Below are two main ways you can take care of yourself this season: avoid the stress or find ways to reduce it if you decide to go.
1. Avoid the Stress (If You Need To)
Sometimes the healthiest choice is simply not going to a gathering that you know will leave you feeling upset or exhausted. And you can say no in a kind, respectful way.
It might sound like:
“Thanks for the invite, but I won’t be able to make it this year.”
“I’m keeping things quieter this holiday season.”
Protecting your well-being is always okay.
2. Reduce the Stress (If You’re Going)
If you choose to attend but want to make the experience easier on yourself, here are a few ways to soften the impact.
1. Reduce Your Exposure
You can limit the time you spend around certain people or situations:
Go a bit later.
Leave a bit earlier.
Say no to extra invites that you know will be too much.
Even small time limits can make the whole visit feel more manageable.
2. Manage the Visit
Adding a few supports or creating some structure can really help:
Bring someone who helps you feel grounded.
Suggest an activity (like a game, walk, or shared task) so the focus isn’t entirely on conversations.
Give yourself permission to step away for a breather when you need it.
These little “buffers” can make the visit feel safer and less intense.
3. Set Boundaries
You’re allowed to protect yourself from conversations or topics that feel stressful.
Before the visit:
If it feels okay, you can give people a heads-up:
“I’d rather avoid certain topics this year.”
During the visit:
If something uncomfortable comes up, try:
“I don’t want to talk about that today. Let’s change the subject.”
And if they keep pushing, you can walk away—leave the conversation, step out of the room, or, if needed, end the visit. Your comfort matters.
Take Care of Yourself Before and After
Family conflict is hard, and dealing with it on top of holiday stress can leave you feeling depleted. Try giving yourself some care before and after the visit:
Rest or ground yourself beforehand.
Plan something comforting afterward.
Take a quiet moment to decompress.
Give yourself time to recover instead of rushing into the next thing.
Remember: these situations are genuinely challenging. It’s okay to acknowledge that and to put your emotional well-being first.
If you’d like support with family dynamics, boundaries, or holiday stress, our therapists are here to help.